4 Essential Steps in the Healing Process
There is something about the number 1 that makes me want to start new. No matter what I am doing, what I may be in the middle of, the approach of 1 makes me want to hit restart. I am sure it has a lot to do with the placement of 1. It is at the beginning; the start, it sets the tone for everything to come. It symbolizing something new and to most, if not all of us, new is good. New is exciting and fills us with purpose, making this a perfect time to discuss healing. It's the first of the month and its the start of a new season. We are literally at 1 in several phases of life. As that newness of the month and the season settles around us, and we start to take steps forward, it's important that we do so in a renewed state of mind.
| Healing: Find the Root Cause |
So how does one renew their mind? What are the actual steps. I am glad you asked. We all have experienced some type of disappointment, setback, hurt or pain in our lives. It pretty much comes with the territory, right? What we don't want to do is become a victim of our circumstances and allow what happened to us to shape our quality of life. A lot of times, we go through things and we want to bury it deep. We want to forget it ever happened and move on with on with our lives. As lovely as that sounds, it's counterproductive to our healing. And, it also may cause fear to develop. Weird, right? We bury something and as a result fear takes it place on the surface. That's usually what happens. We end up fearful of repeats; so we put walls up to prevent that repeat from happening.
In order for us to truly move forward we must address the cause of our hurt, disappointment, or pain. Finding the root cause empowers us to deal with it head on, and as scary that seems the damage that would be caused in skipping this step is far scarier. You can find the root cause by asking your self "why" and answering honestly. For a guided step-by-step process, check out Laneshia Lamb's 21 Steps to Self Discovery currently in the pre ordering stage.
| Healing: Create the Space |
After you find the root cause, you must then create the space for healing. This means locating your special place for the healing to take place. Obviously, your healing will take place internally but there will need to be a safe space for you to complete the process in. Will it be in your bedroom, your office space or guided with a counselor? It needs to be a place that you will feel comfortable baring your soul. Depending on when you start the process and how old your wound is, you may dig up some unexpected emotions. It would be in your best interest to prepare yourself for that. You don't want your healing process bogged down with apprehension; let it go, in the most vulnerable way.
| Healing: Set the Mood |
Setting the mood really goes hand in hand with creating the space. What do you need in your space to further facilitate this experience. Do you need music, candles or natural lighting? Whatever makes you most comfortable, do that. I have actually repurposed a room in my home for self-care. I can't express how much this has helped my personal mood; it has helped the way my week starts, it has even helped how well I sleep at night. We rarely recognize the things weighing us down until they are no longer there.
| Healing: Journaling the Process |
Do you own journal? If you've answered no then I suggest you get one. Writing is the easiest way to get it out. Whether you feel you are a "writer" or not, it really requires no skill except honesty. If you are willing to open up to yourself, and honestly admit to your feelings then you are set. Journaling is therapeutic; it allows you to get out of you all the things they may be weighing heavily on you. Had a bad at work, write it out. Had an argument with your significant other, write it out. Upset because isn't panning out the way you had imagined, write it out. Perhaps you're thinking, what's the use? The use is, you now have a point of reference, a place of reflection and a starting point. Once it's out of you, you then can choose what to do with it. If its work related, writing it out may shed light to how you could have handled it differently. It may uncover points that you can later present to your coworkers or managers to improve a process. If it's relationship related, it could shed light to your way of thinking. Are you being closed minded, maybe your partner is? If you are, you now have the opportunity to apologize and work to rebuild what the argument may have damaged. If your partner is close-minded, perhaps you can share your journal entry or write a letter including the points you feel are most important. And, if life related you now have the opportunity to create some realistic goals to get you out of your rut.
See how much journaling can do for you?
The most important thing that I've learned in my journey of healing is to recognize when its time to move on. Once you've identified your root, created your space, set the mood and journaled your way through the process it's then time to commit yourself to being your best in the present. Things happen, deal with the hurt don't dwell on it.